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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Remember Me. Nick and Schmidt go home with the girls from the wedding, and find themselves going from best friends to best friends with benefits. Nick Miller has a kink for coffee added with his cum. Every morning he makes a cup of coffee and locks himself in the bathroom to

When Schmidt decides to destroy Nick and Jess's relationship because they made his life miserable things take a last second turn when old feelings come back to the surface. Jess isn't entirely sure how Schmidt ended up here in her bedroom with them "in an advisory capacity," Schmidt had said when this idea got brought upsitting on the side of the bed next to a thing of lube and, uh, a strap-on.

Nick is going to lose his job unless something dramatic is done. The roommates are totally up to the task. Nick, Schmidt, and a deflated hot-air balloon. A one-shot that takes place after 2x18, "Tinfinity. Top of Work Index. The end is near. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

Which is everyone.


The only bad wedding is a boring wedding. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding. Your junk is falling out of your trunk.

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Shake a tail light, people - this lane is for you. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain.

Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer. Are you sending the right signals? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC. To watch full episodes, you must have a cable provider that supports IFC's full episode service and you must have IFC as part of your cable package. I gd at the sight when I fully took it in. There was a section of the wall that had a good size photo of me.

That photo was surrounded by smaller ones of me with Steve and James and even my sisters. She was known by her friends as an excitable, courageous, and kind person.

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Her sisters saw her as their own personal hero for all the times she stood up for them against their father. What makes her interesting is only one year after both Steve Rogers and James Barnes were declared dead she went missing never to be seen or heard from again. I stared at the photos and the words. This is the weirdest day of my life. Steve continued to show me each part of the exhibit and explain things to me. We even sat and watched the little documentary video they had playing.

It was an incredible eye opening experience but I still had no memories of James. After we finished taking in all of the exhibit Steve said he had to go see someone so I had him drop me off near the apartment. I decided to take in the scenes around me.

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When Steve did call me he said he wanted to stop by the VA. I was standing outside of the VA when he had said it. Go straight back. Last door on the right it should be open. We both nodded and said thank you heading in the direction she had pointed. I could hear voices at the end of the hall. We stopped outside of the open door. I realized then that it was like an anonymous counseling for veterans. I stood and listened to the woman talking about a plastic bag she had swerved to miss in the road.

Then Sam spoke from his spot at the podium. He seemed to know exactly what to say. Something about him was tugging at my heart strings. He dismissed everyone. Flying a night mission. Nothing I could do. I could see the emotion Sam was trying to hold back. I wanted to hug him. To do something for him.

So, hell yeah. You thinking about getting out? What makes you happy? Originally posted by marvelheroes.

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The mission was for us to join the extraction team. It was something about a boat off course that had been hijacked by pirates. This should be fun. The team gathered in a group to listen to Rumlow go over important points. The Lamerian Star. They were sending up their last pay load when pirates took them 93 minutes ago.

Before the French demobilized him he had 36 kill missions. Nat kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow you sweep and find the hostages.

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Get them to the life pods and get them out. Steve, Nat, and I went off to our own little area. I sat next to Nat as Steve paced. So, no, not really. Steve quickly stepped over to the bay door. He hit the button with his hand making it start to open. I simply walked to the edge of the opening and fell. I could see Steve below me. Neither of us were wearing parachutes. We fell into the water then used our super soldier strength to quickly swim over to the side of the boat.

He started climbing silently up the side of the ship as I followed him. Once we were over the railing we immediately spotted a man in front of us. Steve grabbed him from behind as he choked him with his extremely large arms until the guy was unconscious.

We tried to keep to the darker areas of the ship as we ran as fast and as quiet as we could. We jump over a barrier to find three men. Without hesitation I grabbed the one closest to me. One good punch straight between his eyes knocked him out cold. Steve slid across the deck knocking one man off his feet as he tossed his shield using it to knock the other man unconscious.

The two of us picked up running again. We started towards the walkway. As we ran Steve and I both kicked and threw anyone who came at us off the ship. One man tried to come at Steve with a knife but I slammed the bottom of my shoe into his chest sending him flying into the wall. Three men were there at first but within seconds four others ran out. Steve and I split the group taking them out as quickly as possible.

Once they were down and we thought we were in the clear one more man appeared with his gun pointed straight at us. Steve and I raised our hands up.

Before either of us could think up a move to make the man fell to the ground with a bullet hole in the back of his head. She seems kinda nice. He shook his head then we continued on to where we needed to be. We climbed up a few balconies and walkways until Steve got to where he wanted.

He grabbed on to the railing to lean back and pull something out of his pocket. He pointed it upwards towards a window above us. He clicked the button and the small device shot out and stuck to the window. The line went silent again as we waited for Nat to respond. A minute or two passed before we heard her voice again. We both jumped off the balcany we were holding to the main deck. Steve ran full speed.

I watched him pull his shield off his back then toss it upwards towards the same window he had bugged. The glass shattered. Steve and I moved quickly to get up to it. He climbed in first. I was right behind him.


I saw a man run out the door. Circle back around to Rumlow and help him with the hostages.

"The first girl says, 'My boyfriend can fit a whole fist up there.' The second girl says, 'Ha, my boyfriend can fit two fists and a foot.' The third girl just smiles as she slides down the bar stool." - Belexa. What does a leper say after having sex with a prostitute? "Keep the tip." - _shittyshittymorph_. Tags. No Archive Warnings Apply; Nick Miller/Schmidt (New Girl) Nick Miller; Schmidt (New Girl) Summary. , , . Sometimes Boys Will be Girls! Boys are told to be tough and be a man, but that is bull in my opinion! Boys can be girls if they choose to don't you think? Browse through these photos of beautiful girls that at one point were born male. They look like the girl next door and maybe she's your neighbor?

As he walked past a corner I saw a foot coming straight for his face. He blocked it quickly with his shield. I did as he said running full speed to find Rumlow and the hostages. I knew where they were headed. I met them at the life pods. Rumlow and I stood guard as the rest of the strike team helped the hostages in. I heard no reply.

I turned back to Rumlow telling him to go ahead with the hostages. I turned and ran back to where I last saw Steve. As soon as I came around a corner I saw Batroc running. I was about to go after him when an explosion went off to my left. My instant fear was that Steve was hurt. The flames engulfed the room keeping me from going inside.

Originally posted by andthwip. I followed behind Steve with Natasha behind me. We stepped into some kind of lab. Computers and other equipment was everywhere.

Nat had explained the computers to me and even cell phones. Bruce and Tony where each standing in front of screens. Bruce eyed him for a second then glanced over to Nat and I. He took his glasses off setting them on the counter he was standing at. Instead of answering Steve pulled his shirt up to his neck exposing the bruise that was much bigger and darker now. I did as he said and sat down.

I watched him grab a few things then turn to me with a needle in his hand. I immediately jumped to my feet.

I stepped backwards but ran into a hard chest. I knew immediately it was Steve. He guided my tense body back to the stool and sat me down. His hands rested on my shoulders. Bruce grabbed my arm to do what he needed to. I turned my head away grinding my teeth together. I would do anything to get out of getting a shot or anything else. I glanced down at my arm but regretted it immediately.

It may not hurt but the sight of the needle in my skin had me almost throwing up. It looked like he was immediately doing something to it. We were all silent for a few minutes as Bruce worked. He moved the images in front of him around until there was two images side by side. They looked almost identical except one was a different color. You were found frozen in an old Hydra base. It seems they did the same thing to you.

Who knows what they did to you. They were probably the ones to alter your memory as well. Get the equipment ready and grab Barton. Natasha ran out of the room to do what Steve had said. Tony nodded then went back to his work. Bruce stepped over to me. We are learning more about what happened to you. Now we just need to find out why it happened. Why this happened we may never know but at least we have each other. Before I knew it a few months had passed. A lot of things had changed.

Steve and I moved out of the tower to our own apartment in D. Clint went back to his family. Natasha was in and out working on different jobs.

I spent a lot of time with Steve when neither of us were working. I had been lucky enough to be given a job at S. It also turns out I am stronger than Steve. This morning there was another jogger taking the same path we were.

Steve thought it was funny every time we ran past him. The guy looked completely confused. As we ran and got closer to the guy Steve switched me sides so he would run next to him. The man stopped and sat at a tree to catch his breath. Steve and I took another lap then decided to go chat with him.

He looked wore out and exhausted as he leaned against the tree. You two just ran like 13 miles in 30 minutes.

We would like to show you a description here but the site won't allow danydusausoit.com more. Lie still and close your eyes girl so lovely it feels so right. He leaded me of the dance floor and into one of the bathrooms in the house." jump." He mumbles as my legs wrap around his waist I close the door with my foot and he locks it. "I've been waiting to do this all night baby girl."he whispers in Reviews: "Good girl Princess, your gonna m-make daddy cum hard! Ngh" He groaned thrusting hard until his hips came to a halt. White stuff was floating in the water. Kissing me on the lips softly he got out and dried off. "Let's get you dried off and ready for bed baby."I smile as Reviews:

You should be ashamed of yourself. You should take another lap. When I was over there I slept on the ground. Used rocks for pillows like a caveman. Everything you missed jammed into one album. He pulled my hand slightly raising it up to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of my hand then let me go. The sound of a loud engine pulling up grabbed our attention.

The window rolled down to show Nat behind the wheel. I was already standing next to the car when Nat spoke. I hope you guys enjoy! Originally posted by veryawkwardantisocialperson-dea.

Natasha and I started walking down the street. There was no sign only the name on the glass window. I followed Nat inside and up to the counter. There was a large sign on the wall behind the counter showing the menu. I scanned over it looking for something I wanted to try. After we ordered we stepped to the side to wait on our food and drinks. Nat had ordered me some kind of coffee she called a French vanilla latte with caramel.

She said it was to die for. Maybe it can help you remember something about that guy. Before I could answer a young woman handed us our drinks. Nat smiled big as she took hers. I waited to take a drink as I thought over her offer. If I did know this James Barnes then Steve should remember him. Did Steve know this guy? If he does how did I forget him?

I remember everything about my life and about Steve but not James Barnes. What happened to me to make me forget? When our food was done Nat grabbed the bag. We decided to go back to the tower and eat there. I had too much I needed to talk to Steve about.

He was standing in the kitchen talking to Clint. Natasha walked over to the counter and sat the bag of food down. She pulled mine out and handed it to me. I sat on one of the tall stools with Nat beside me. Steve was standing on the other side in front of me.

I nodded then took my first bite of food. Nat was right it was delicious. It also went well with the amazing latte she had gotten me. We were always together and causing some kind of trouble or exploring New York outside of Brooklyn.

Everyone except you. He was always with us. Every memory you have of just you and me Bucky was there too. There was always a spark between you two but you never acted on it. At least not until the night this photo was taken. When we found you after you ran off from us you were in tears. I let Bucky handle that one alone.

He always meant something to you and you were always his light. When we were together as the Howling Commandos he told me it was the small photo of you that he kept in his pocket that kept him going.

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Your light and happiness. I just stared at him.

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How do I not remember this man who apparently meant so much to me? I picked the photo up to look it over again. Who is he? What kind of person?

What did his voice sound like? I tried to save him but I failed. My best friend died right in front of me. The thought of coming back home and having to tell you scared the hell out of me. She nodded then hopped off her stool. She walked up the few stairs to where I stood.

Dirty Dozen: 12 Unbelievably Filthy '90s Movies. Posted by Evan Saathoff on October 10th. IFC Throwback Thursdays continues tonight with a double airing of Eyes Wide Shut starting at 8/7c. Every decade has its crop of raunchy films, but the '90s had some of the best. With the rise of cable television, these gems became easier and easier to see. A Smutty World. Reblog. Opens in new window 3 notes Text Post posted 2 months ago. Opens in new window "That's it baby girl cum for me." Sam whispered in a panting voice in my ear. My vision blurred as my body tensed up. I cried out Sam's name again followed by several profanities. Sam's fingers slowed as I panted.

She wrapped her arm around mine then drug me down the hall. The training room was larger than I expected. There was equipment everywhere of every possible kind you could think of. Nat walked over to the wall and grabbed four gloves.

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She came back over to me and handed me two. She turned me around then pushed me towards the punching bag at the far end of the room. I need to clear my mind for a little bit. As you think about it let that frustration come out in each swing. Both Natasha and I stood frozen.

The bag I had been punching now laid in a pile a few feet from us. It was busted open. I tore my gloves off and tossed them to the floor. How did my life change like this? I swear three days ago I was home with my sisters.

In my home in Why did this happen to me? Nat pointed to the bag on the floor then looked to me. Steve seemed to understand what she was saying. He walked over to me and took my hands. The only way to do that is for you to hit me or fight me. I need to feel what kind of strength you have. Steve stood in front of me as I pulled my arm back. I swung as hard as I could hitting him in the chest. Steve let out a groan as he fell backwards.

Steve groaned as he rolled over to slowly stand himself back up. Once he was on his feet he leaned on his knees breathing heavy. I had to force myself to focus on the spot I hit instead of his ridiculously chiseled abdomen.

There was a bruise already forming in the middle of his chest.

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There is no way I hit him that hard. Originally posted by hawks-and-spiders. My room only two down from Steve. My first night here was certainly a rough one. I had too many things on my mind. I kept thinking back to my family. What became of them? How did my sisters deal with the life I left them behind in?

Our father was never the nicest person. He was very controlling and horribly cruel. I could always handle it more than they could. It may have hurt like hell but they never deserved it so I made sure that I always did. What happened when I disappeared? How badly had father been to them? The wall in front of me lit up a few seconds later to show a photo of each of my family members.

I stepped closer just to look at them. The images on the wall changed. It was my older sister Amelia. She looked so different. So much older. The image changed to a newspaper article. The tears fell down my cheeks as I tried not to sob. It was her death. She married Jacob Daniels in They had two children together. A boy named Christopher Daniels and a girl named Willow Daniels. She died of natural causes in at the age of The images on the wall changed to show my baby sister.

She was only ten years old when I last saw her.

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The images slowly moved threw her life. Showing me how she had grown up. She married Lucas Yorkshire in They have three children together. Two boys, one named Gregory Yorkshire and the other named Lucas Yorkshire the second. One girl named Annabelle Yorkshire. He goes for a run every morning. Is everything alright? Natasha seemed to perk up at my words. She smiled and gestured for me to follow her.

I laid it on the bed to look at it. It was a shirt and pants. My father said either dress like a lady or be treated like a man. Just trust me. All those years and she still lives in Brooklyn.

I followed her into the elevator then quickly out of the front door and into the crowded street. She stepped to the side of the side walk then whistled really loud as she waved.

A cab pulled up in front of us a few seconds later. She opened the door gesturing for me to get in first. It was always so exciting. He nodded then pulled back into the traffic. I watched out the window as we drove threw the unfamiliar streets.

I had known this area when I was younger. Steve and I use to go all over the place. The cab pulled over in front of a row of houses. Natasha handed him some money then we got out of the cab. I was standing on the sidewalk outside of Dane Court. Gracie is right inside there. My heart was thumping savagely against my chest. What would I do? What would I say? Would she even remember me? Natasha gently pushed me forward towards the house. I took hesitant steps thinking this over.

Should I really do this? This could go really bad. Before I could turn around and run Natasha knocked on the door. The door opened and there stood a gray haired Grace Roffe or Yorkshire now.

I felt the sob rip from my chest. My baby sister was older than me now. The woman looked terrified and frozen to the spot as she stared at me.

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